Cats spell better than 90%* of Americans

Whenever I read something that has excessive commas (or hyphens or ellipses) or just bad grammar I think of this post from Hyperbole and a Half and I laugh instead of reaching for a red pen – The Alot. I wish all grammar mistakes were so cute and cuddly.

    Allie Brosh

I also think of the Alot when I see LOLCat-style spelling.  I know, I know. The LOLCat is a super craze and grown adults world wide have embraced ebonics. But I think of cats as being really good spellers. In fact, I believe that cats are even more anal retentive about punctuation than I am, so how could they ever spell like that? It’s slanderous. I believe that TS Elliot should haunt the icanhazcheezburger site and everyone who contributes to it. Cats are cute and no denying, but seriously people. They can totally spell. And they can do it without spellcheck. How many of us can say that?

Maybe that explains it – we’re jealous of the superior writing prowess of cats and so we, as a nation, are trying to bring them down.

 

I would like to dedicate this post to my late cats (I traded them for babies), one of which          would have punched me in the face if he ever caught me using such atrocious spelling.            Literally. He was a really mean cat.

Not this one. She would have just pooped on something. But can’t you just feel the                      indignant power of that stare? She knows how to rock a semi-colon and she’ll make sure        you know, too. Who needs a red pen when you have poop?

 

 

 

 

* That figure is completely reliable. No really, It’s from Wikipedia**.

** I made that up. Sorry. On an unrelated note, I went to a talk about research this week and the speaker actually said that Wikipedia is the best research tool ever. Really? Huh.

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9 Comments

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9 responses to “Cats spell better than 90%* of Americans

  1. Truer words have never been spoken. Cats are way too awesome to be poor spellers.

  2. Aren’t cats more anal retentive than humans about EVERYTHING? 😉

  3. Exactly! How has this slander become so widely accepted? It’s completely illogical.

  4. This post cracks me up just on the title. But then I come over here and see the infamous Alot and I’m in love. 😉

    I’m more of a dog than cat person, but I’m patiently waiting for the internet cat/poor spelling phase to run its course. Can’t. Come. Soon. Enough.

    • I’m just amazed at how many people – educated, intelligent people – use that style of spelling in personal correspondence. I mean, “kitteh”? Really? “Noms”? When did that become a word?

  5. Hi Megan, I hopped over here from the Campaign list (Adult-All Genres), and my eyes got drawn down to the mention of cats. God bless ’em, they do keep us in our places, don’t they? And of course, if they could hold pens, they’d spell impeccably — if for no other reason to put us humans in our place!

    I am happy to have met you and I look forward to reading more of your posts.

    • I wonder if they’d lower themselves to using the western alphabet at all. I suspect they’d use hieroglyphics or cuneiform. But why bother when they clearly communicate telepathically?

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